Online dating can be difficult and tiring.
That's it... that's the opener and a statement true (for most). That being said, it CAN also be an enjoyable experience.
(Source: Tenor - GoogleHopelessRomance101)
Over 3 years of being on and off the apps, here are 6 things I've learned to bring back the joy.
1) Play to your strengths
Being good-looking gives you an advantage... nothing new. However, it doesn't completely shut you out from getting the right swipes with more popular users.
What someone lacks in looks could be made up by showing personality and humor such as pictures with hilarious captions, quality memes, a witty bio, etc.
Whatever you find passion in or are good at reflecting it on your profile in a humorous or exaggerated way will help you stand out from the crowd and your looks (though they matter) can be at least partially overshadowed.
2) Don't be hung up on 1 person
Putting your focus on a single person is easy to do when everything is going well. However one-day things might not go as smoothly on text as they do once and if you meet in person.
Have multiple conversations and explore other possible connections. "The one" isn't always who you expect it to be at the end of the day.
3) Get unmatched or left on read? Don't take it personally
Whether someone has 3 matches or 100 +, getting unmatched or left on read happens to everyone. There's no other way around it, at this point it is honestly part of the experience.
While being left on read could still leave you with a string of hope as a 2nd message can always be sent (the match may have forgotten or was busy). In most cases, though that match is probably gone and the slate is now clean.
This doesn't have to be all doom and gloom though as now you can focus your attention on someone new who hopefully will value you more.
Ultimately the saying is cheesy but there really are "plenty of fish in the sea" and all it really takes is one good catch.
4) Self-awareness
Everyone will swipe right on the "9 and 10s" that's just reality.
If you consider yourself a "6 out of 10" on the attractive scale, for example, swiping on only "9's and 10's" won't get you far. Be open to swiping on 7 or 8s (looks play a part, saying otherwise would be a lie but personality factors in as well).
Not to mention some people end up looking better in person than they do on the apps (the opposite can happen too but we'll just brush past that).
Don't necessarily settle for less, but keep your expectations reasonable and open.
5) Take a chance and extend your distance a bit
This isn't to suggest setting your boundaries halfway across a country (maybe that's the last resort) but don't hesitate to go out of your city.
The best conversation you have might be with someone an hour's drive away from you.
Broaden your horizon and think a bit outside of the box.
6) Turn off the notifications
With all the notifications turned on you might find yourself getting glued on or constantly opening and closing the app.
Turn on notifications for the essentials (new messages or new matches) or just turn them off completely.
The less time spent on the app especially for unnecessary checks, the better.
7) Take a break when needed
Arguably the most important one on this list is to take a break when needed.
Burnout with online dating can happen. From swiping left and right to starting at the talking stage again from scratch - after a while, all this can get tiring.
Take the time for yourself, the apps won't disappear while you are gone.
All in all, enjoy online dating but don't make it a priority, rather an addition to your life. Take it to the outside world sometimes (when lockdown isn't a factor).
Have fun out there and hopefully with these tips you can happily delete these applications after you've found what you're searching for.
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